i'm writing a novel (because it's never been done before)
meta
I’ve been quiet lately.
Well, maybe not on Notes. Besides tongue-in-cheek commentary on Substack culture like the above, I often have this compulsion to post whatever esoteric, intrusive, or random thought pops into my head, which I then contrive to be a semi-coherent piece of mini-lit that sometimes people seem to enjoy. It’s a low effort way to let people remember my pseudonymous self exists.
But there’s this other thing I usually do where I sit down with my ‘stack of incoming fiction, pick out the literary stuff, find what I like about it, think about it, and then re-stack it and write some nice stuff about it on Notes.
I have still, on occasion, been reading and doling out little red hearts to some of the authors on here I particularly enjoy (you know who are), but the brain power it takes me to actually sit down and craft commentary on these pieces that goes beyond superficial verbose praise has eluded me lately, and for that I apologize.
Aside from reading, I also haven’t been posting. My last short, how the fight began, was published way back in the beginning of June, and I worry that my subscribers have forgotten what they like about the Steadwellian canon.
(I know, at least,
is wondering where my posts are!)I feel like I owe it to the community to explain myself. Although, the reason I hate writing these meta posts is that my instinct is to believe no one cares. Assuming you’ve made it this far into the post, you’ll forgive me for this exercise in vanity and for the following explanations of this slowdown in my Substack habits, both reading and writing:
a) Summer isn’t the best time for me vis a vis Substack or any other blue-screened pursuit. Summer is when I have paperback shaped tan lines across my chest (perhaps the imprint of
’s Snaps). It’s when I go for eight mile runs in 90 degree heat and enter a fugue-like, inspiration-filled runner’s high. It’s when I do anything other than look at my phone, basically.b) I have a Really Big Life Event coming up in a couple weeks, one which is a huge time-suck and takes a lot of preparation and coordination with the Significant Other.
c) Taking up a lot of the Substack eye-time that I do have has been spent reading and researching both the storytelling methods and release/marketing methods employed by serial novelists on Substack, specifically by immensely enjoying
’s thrilling An Interpreter in Vienna, ’s historical Fallout, and ’s Departures, an immersive multimedia experience that might even go beyond conventional definitions of a ‘novel’.But what am I researching? And why? I can elaborate on this third point to provide an answer that is the most pertinent explanation regarding my absence this summer:
Because — this is going to blow your mind, there’s no way you could have possibly known this, please sit down to avoid injury — I am writing a novel.
Back in May, I was Substack Featured. My story, bus kids, was warmly received by the fiction community and
very kindly posited it for inclusion to ’s curated Substack Reads. It was commented on and seen by thousands of readers in a way I would have never dreamed a piece of my fiction could do. It felt like I had gone immortal.It was, beyond a doubt, the greatest thing to ever happen in my writing career since
said he liked one of my stories.But honestly, after the initial high, the whole thing left me feeling…empty. Where was there to go, now that I had reached the mountaintop? Eventually, I thought, the only other things that could trump this would be:
a) Publishing a magnum opus (magnum, in this case, being something novel-sized).
b) A single person paying me money for my writing.
Then I thought, why not accomplish both?
So I began writing a novel.
I’ve written novels before. I wrote my first ‘novel’ when I was 12. I finished a novel — wholly separate from this one — last year. I finished a different version of this same novel I’m working on now a couple of years ago.
I think I am in the middle of what I am calling the ‘Steadwellian Cycle,’ which goes something like this:
Have a period of about a year in which the origins of the novel are formed in my mind, expounded upon, the plot outlined roughly from beginning to end, and the characters meticulously mapped.
Write the novel over the course of several months.
Hate the novel and ensure it will never see the light of day.
Repeat.
Right now I’m at step two, except this time I’m attempting to re-write my most recent novel in the style I’ve cultivated on Substack that seems to resonate with my readers — a first person, past-tense story in the mold of khakis or the other guy was me, with a similar voice and cadence. This means that, even if I hate it, it is at least something that I have tangible proof others might like.
Which will help me avoid step 3. Taking time away from Substack has actually helped in that regard as well. In reading some of the sort of literary criticism type stuff that sometimes comes to the forefront of fiction circles, I’ve found myself wondering:
Is this another pathetic attempt at the white male ‘Great American Novel’? Am I writing a ‘discourse’ novel? Am I imbuing my female characters with enough depth and agency? Are the themes as universal as I can make them?
Will anyone at all like this, ever?
Which brings me to the second goal of my post-Featured Substack: a paying subscriber.
I can already hear the boos and see the pitchforks.
But Clancy, haven’t you always been free? That’s, like, your thing?
Look, I have a plan:
The final quarter of the novel (the last 20k words or so) will be behind a paywall, the price of which I have yet to determine, but I suppose will be the lowest available pricing.
The catch is that every chapter of this novel is going to come out at once. All at the same time. Now, does this mean your inbox will be inundated? No, because the first posting of EVERY CHAPTER will be to the APP only (not emailed).
(So if you get app notifications for posts, yeah, there will be a deluge of PNP post notifications.)
As part of the release of all the initial chapters, the only emailed post will be the Table of Contents, which will already be completed and linked all the way through to the end of the novel.
It will also come with a Spotify playlist, a track for each chapter, which is composed of neo-classical music I am listening to while writing, and that also serves as a soundtrack to the story.
At this point in time, I will NOT have an option to listen as an audiobook, although that might happen in the future. Right now, the effort and equipment required for that is simply beyond me, and if I pursue that, this thing will never get released.
Each week, I will then email the newest chapter for those maybe not involved on the application to read. I will also post a Note that gives some ‘director’s commentary’ (similar to my retros) of a re-stacked portion of that chapter, along with the chapter’s chosen soundtrack.
Why I am doing it like this?
the contiguous nature of the novel
I have found in reading serial novels on Substack (especially ones that I enjoy) that the main challenge is not being able to immediately read more of it.
Some would argue this is inherently what makes ‘serial novels’ great.
The nature of my novel is that it can work both ways: it is contiguous enough from chapter to chapter such that each one transitions to the next smoothly, while it is also sort of episodic: each chapter serves as a self-contained sort of story.
Releasing all at once on the app only will let readers read all the way through in one sitting if that is their desire, and subsequently emailing the chapters will allow those who digest piecemeal to do it that way.
It will be both a serial novel as well as a hypertext novel.
posting more frequently
I see this novel as a solution to my post frequency problem.
As I’ve said before, while I am a fast writer, I am a very slow receiver of inspiration. I’m not able to sit down and start writing unless I have a beginning, middle, and end to a story composed in my head, and that takes time. But I’ve thought of this novel for years. Now it’s pouring out of me in its second iteration, and once it’s complete, even though all chapters will be available all at once, by still mailing a chapter every week and posting a Note about it and re-stacking, I’ll have content to post weekly for almost the entire next year. Hopefully this will keep my subscribers engaged and feed the perceived hunger (real or otherwise) for new PNP content.
(Don’t worry, though — there will still be free short stories in between, if that’s your thing. These will remain free.)
the paid option
If I have a paid option, I’m hoping it will finally put me past some of the perceived algorithmic filters that might be preventing my work from reaching a (slightly) larger audience.
And in putting the paywalled chapters at the end of the novel, I’m in effect betting on myself: I’ll give you the first parts free, almost the whole thing, even, because I know if you give it a chance, you’ll fall in love with the characters and you won’t be able to resist paying to know what happens to them in the end.
Or not.
Of course — and I’ll re-iterate this several times in the build-up and after release — if you can’t pay the paywall price, reach out and I’ll gladly comp you.
Or maybe you can just pay for a single month, inhale the ending, then cancel. Since they are all out at once, there’s no reason to pay for more months than it takes for you to finish the novel.
Remember, my goal is for one single paying subscriber. If you were to be that person, I would be super happy.
So then, what’s this big novel of mine called?: the big T.
What’s the T stand for? That’s for you to decide once you’ve read it.
What’s it about (simple blurb-in-progress, subject to change — in fact, it will change, I promise you it will)?:
the big T is a novel that traces the friendship of two young men from middle school to high school, through college, young adulthood, and beyond as they navigate issues of masculinity, drug use, addiction, white privilege and male platonic love.
The only other thing I will say is that if you like my other work, you will almost certainly like this, even if this seems a little too male-centric.
I’m finally at a point where I know I am going to finish this, hence this post. My plan is for it to be about 90k words. Right now I am at about 50k.
I would like to someday create a print copy of the book for subscribers to buy (maybe paying subscribers to PNP get a signed copy or something?) but I have heard that self-publishing and editors and cover designers cost money, and Really Big Life Events are kind of expensive, so I’ll have to see how much is in the Steadwell coffers once that’s done before I even consider getting a physical edition going.
Anyways, I am aiming for release in the month sometime after the upcoming Really Big Life Event. It’s looking like it will be end of September, just in time for summer to take its leave and for me to get back to my regular Substack reading.
Part of the reason for writing this non-fiction, meta post (which, as I’ve said, is something I hate writing) is to hold myself accountable for the release of this thing. I now have no doubt I’ll finish it — none at all. But there is still about a 20% chance that I will finish it, read it, and then decide not to release it. I really hope that this does not happen.
So hold me accountable, PNP’ers. Please and thank you.
BOOK CLUB QUESTIONS:
What do you think of my release plan and paywall? Any suggestions?
Courtesy of
:
Great to hear, Clancy. Looking forward to it.
Always enjoy your thoughts on process, even if you don't ;)
I will buy your book and read it, Clancy. And have fun at your Big Life Event! Will she wear white? Will you wear a tuxedo?