Shopping with my wife goes something like this: I start having holes in my t-shirts so I decide to finally go. Within 5 minutes I have picked everything, paid, attempted to leave etc. But then something magical happens, she somehow manages to convince me she needs this this and that, and we spent 90 minutes shopping for her. I think she should have been a politician.
1. My husband is a PE teacher, so his wardrobe is athletic casual. He can handle that part without my help. If there's a dressy affair, I'll weigh in on the four or so combinations of pants/shirts/blazers he's accumulated over the years. And the few articles of clothing he owns that aren't warmup pants and polo shirts, I just outright bought for him without his input. 😂
2. Oh, I'm sure I peed my pants at some point, though I don't have any tragic memories associated with it. I don't like khaki pants either. I've worked a number of jobs that required me to wear them. I just think they look awful on everyone, and you can never find them easily outside of the Memorial Day to Labor Day window. I weirdly miss corduroys. As a mom, I now willingly embrace leggings and yoga pants as appropriate for most occasions.
3. Men have it easy!!! They can literally wear the same thing to 10 different weddings, and no one will notice. Women have to buy a new dress for every occasion in fear that the guests will REMEMBER they already wore something once before. I don't worry about this anymore. I own like six dresses, and I just rotate them. But I cared when I was younger. I also hate high-heels and haven't worn them since college. Pretty sure I wore Keds under my wedding dress.
The older I get, despite how many books I’ve read or life I’ve led, the more I realize I was fully formed as who I am and ever will be in those first 12-15 years of life. This piece captures that.
So glad I bottled that sentiment. I totally agree.
I think that, whatever happens in those years, every emotion is so deep and poignant, the novelty of everything makes a drama that underpins who we are going forward.
Loved the simplicity of this story. Very heartwarming to know that it’s not only me who feels that when I go to the Kohls dressing room. My wife has the small role as Rachel, except that I get more veto powers because I’m never happy with my selection, and accordingly to my wife I choose exactly what she says Yes to.
Thanks for reading Raj, I’m glad you can relate to David’s and Rachel’s process! It is very simple, isn’t it? Sometimes life’s smallest tasks are big adventures. Check out some of my other stories or subscribe for similar themes!
This was the first piece of yours I've read and I absolutely loved it. My own memories of the computer lab came flooding back and you got me laughing quite a few times throughout. Thanks for this, great piece!
Yes, somewhat similar to you. I have to be in a very specific mood to shop for clothes. I like clothes, but the vast array of possibilities is too much for me, plus good, ethical clothes are fairly expensive. My ideal scenario is to have enough money to just pay for a personal shopper say twice a year.
Yes, when I was very young and we moved house and for some reason felt I needed to ask permission from my mother to go to the new-house toilet, yet my mother was off unpacking somewhere.
Went to a wedding earlier this year and their stipulation was essentially wear whatever you want. It was most refreshing.
Thanks Dr. Waller. I explored a similar structure and theme in my last post so I was a little hesitant to repeat it. Instead I decided to lean into it and plan on making some other posts that do the same.
My husband finds clothes shopping abhorrent. Sure, I can buy him clothes in a pinch, but what I love is when he decides he "has to" go buy something. He finds one or two whatever-he-is-looking-for items and trudges into the dressing room. Then I get to work, and before he has had a chance to try on one of the items, I've slung a good dozen other potential items (of what he is looking for or what he doesn't even know he is looking for but needs) over the door for him to try on too. When we check out, he buys more than the intended he'd buy because my response to him is, "well, if it fits you and it's comfortable, you should probably get both/all so you don't have to go shopping again anytime soon."
Also, I recently avoided a wedding because invite was very aggressively worded as "semi-formal required." Who owns semi-formal anything anymore? (Hello, yoga pants, my old friends.) I waited just long enough to not have any time to buy something appropriate, plus it was outside... semi-formal means heels. Grass+Heel=No, thank you. I sent a nice wedding gift.
this made me cry. i peed my pants in elementary because i was just about to win a bingo game and i just recently wore a black sparkled dress to a “linen wedding”. thank you for this piece.
-separately, 90%. 90% it's also me shopping. He doesn't wear anything nice out of some strange conviction, but if it is a present, I stand a chance. especially if it's for New Year-in his city apparently they had a custom of wearing something new for New Year's eve? Comes handy.
ah and it's mostly online too. I dislike big stores anyways. He might go to Kohl's once a year 'cause sale bring a bunch of stuff try at home (with me) take back all that I said "no" to.
when we go together we're concentrated on "together"-it's rare thus precious so it's not important if we don't buy anything or it's a yard sale one dollar find or. It stops mattering. In any case we both love art, and have not enough money for it
-no. but the night's still young
-my thoughts are this here is a crazy country(I always live in crazy countries, I'm not sure sane one exist)
I talk myself into being "it's interesting, fascinating, different culture" ethnographical observer mode, as to be less irritated -which kinda worked better until I had to deal with this BS.
Shopping with my wife goes something like this: I start having holes in my t-shirts so I decide to finally go. Within 5 minutes I have picked everything, paid, attempted to leave etc. But then something magical happens, she somehow manages to convince me she needs this this and that, and we spent 90 minutes shopping for her. I think she should have been a politician.
I like her style. Let me know the next time you have holes in your t-shirts and I’ll be sure to take my hubby too! Your wife and I will have a ball!
1. My husband is a PE teacher, so his wardrobe is athletic casual. He can handle that part without my help. If there's a dressy affair, I'll weigh in on the four or so combinations of pants/shirts/blazers he's accumulated over the years. And the few articles of clothing he owns that aren't warmup pants and polo shirts, I just outright bought for him without his input. 😂
2. Oh, I'm sure I peed my pants at some point, though I don't have any tragic memories associated with it. I don't like khaki pants either. I've worked a number of jobs that required me to wear them. I just think they look awful on everyone, and you can never find them easily outside of the Memorial Day to Labor Day window. I weirdly miss corduroys. As a mom, I now willingly embrace leggings and yoga pants as appropriate for most occasions.
3. Men have it easy!!! They can literally wear the same thing to 10 different weddings, and no one will notice. Women have to buy a new dress for every occasion in fear that the guests will REMEMBER they already wore something once before. I don't worry about this anymore. I own like six dresses, and I just rotate them. But I cared when I was younger. I also hate high-heels and haven't worn them since college. Pretty sure I wore Keds under my wedding dress.
No input!? Haha, at least David in the story got some vetos!
Great point about the women’s dress code, I think most men would crumple under such expectation.
Thanks for reading Meg, and don’t forget -- you’re never too old to traumatize yourself by being your pants.
Same shopping scenario for me. I don't know where our women find the patience.
Neither do I. Thanks for reading Mr. Cummings.
The older I get, despite how many books I’ve read or life I’ve led, the more I realize I was fully formed as who I am and ever will be in those first 12-15 years of life. This piece captures that.
So glad I bottled that sentiment. I totally agree.
I think that, whatever happens in those years, every emotion is so deep and poignant, the novelty of everything makes a drama that underpins who we are going forward.
Thanks for reading Mr. Smith.
What a beautifully written story. I was smiling all the way.
Loved the simplicity of this story. Very heartwarming to know that it’s not only me who feels that when I go to the Kohls dressing room. My wife has the small role as Rachel, except that I get more veto powers because I’m never happy with my selection, and accordingly to my wife I choose exactly what she says Yes to.
Thanks for reading Raj, I’m glad you can relate to David’s and Rachel’s process! It is very simple, isn’t it? Sometimes life’s smallest tasks are big adventures. Check out some of my other stories or subscribe for similar themes!
This was the first piece of yours I've read and I absolutely loved it. My own memories of the computer lab came flooding back and you got me laughing quite a few times throughout. Thanks for this, great piece!
Thank you Peter! I read one of yours earlier and I think we both like to explore memory and how comes back to us. Much appreciated.
You're very welcome, and yes my Substack project is certainly very much about remembering.
I'm not married but I learned so much about relationships in such a small amount of time, and through a great story too.
Thanks Mr. Lalljee, what a great compliment! Glad you enjoyed.
It is well deserved Mr. Steadwell
1. She suggests, I say yes ma’am no ma’am whatever you say ma’am
2. Often and without apology
3. No shoes, no shirt, no service
Three great suggestions for life in general. Thanks for reading Mr. Hilgendorf.
Very nice piece, I enjoyed it! Tight and well written and you have your own voice
Yes, somewhat similar to you. I have to be in a very specific mood to shop for clothes. I like clothes, but the vast array of possibilities is too much for me, plus good, ethical clothes are fairly expensive. My ideal scenario is to have enough money to just pay for a personal shopper say twice a year.
Yes, when I was very young and we moved house and for some reason felt I needed to ask permission from my mother to go to the new-house toilet, yet my mother was off unpacking somewhere.
Went to a wedding earlier this year and their stipulation was essentially wear whatever you want. It was most refreshing.
Hey, similar pee-permission situation to the story. I wonder how many kids have had similar experiences! Thanks for reading Mr. Slake.
The connection between now and childhood is fantastic 🖤
Thanks Dr. Waller. I explored a similar structure and theme in my last post so I was a little hesitant to repeat it. Instead I decided to lean into it and plan on making some other posts that do the same.
Glad you enjoyed that aspect!
I think it’s amazing the way the seemingly trivial things of childhood can affect this. It really works.
1. Old Navy
2. Daily
3. Bullocks
My husband finds clothes shopping abhorrent. Sure, I can buy him clothes in a pinch, but what I love is when he decides he "has to" go buy something. He finds one or two whatever-he-is-looking-for items and trudges into the dressing room. Then I get to work, and before he has had a chance to try on one of the items, I've slung a good dozen other potential items (of what he is looking for or what he doesn't even know he is looking for but needs) over the door for him to try on too. When we check out, he buys more than the intended he'd buy because my response to him is, "well, if it fits you and it's comfortable, you should probably get both/all so you don't have to go shopping again anytime soon."
Also, I recently avoided a wedding because invite was very aggressively worded as "semi-formal required." Who owns semi-formal anything anymore? (Hello, yoga pants, my old friends.) I waited just long enough to not have any time to buy something appropriate, plus it was outside... semi-formal means heels. Grass+Heel=No, thank you. I sent a nice wedding gift.
Haha getting shopping done in bunches is the best thing you can do.
And ai hear you on the semi formal thing. That is one of the most irritating things that I was trying to point out with this story.
this made me cry. i peed my pants in elementary because i was just about to win a bingo game and i just recently wore a black sparkled dress to a “linen wedding”. thank you for this piece.
btw, don’t even wanna know what a linen wedding is
I’m glad it moved you! Thanks for reading c.s. —
I'm glad you reshared this. I missed it the first time around! Loved it. Now over to the retro! :)
Thanks Sean! Greatest compliment I can get!
-separately, 90%. 90% it's also me shopping. He doesn't wear anything nice out of some strange conviction, but if it is a present, I stand a chance. especially if it's for New Year-in his city apparently they had a custom of wearing something new for New Year's eve? Comes handy.
ah and it's mostly online too. I dislike big stores anyways. He might go to Kohl's once a year 'cause sale bring a bunch of stuff try at home (with me) take back all that I said "no" to.
when we go together we're concentrated on "together"-it's rare thus precious so it's not important if we don't buy anything or it's a yard sale one dollar find or. It stops mattering. In any case we both love art, and have not enough money for it
-no. but the night's still young
-my thoughts are this here is a crazy country(I always live in crazy countries, I'm not sure sane one exist)
I talk myself into being "it's interesting, fascinating, different culture" ethnographical observer mode, as to be less irritated -which kinda worked better until I had to deal with this BS.
-thank you for the story!