Loved this bit here: "Could this be it? Am I freed? Marc wondered without fear or sadness. This man who had done nothing but love and care for him, did he really wish him dead? How could he feel, in the passing of his father, that he would be ‘freed’? Freed of what – judgment and worry? The assignment of fault? The source of his lifelong fountain of self-loathing and criticism?" It feels like the narrator switches for the first time to a judgmental tone, a consideration of merit. Such an interesting transition. Great story.
The meromictic lake becomes all men as they age. Those surfaces and deep waters share less and less real estate. It must be a strange thing to have a father, and stranger to be one.
This is powerful. According to Mary Karr: "A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it." The dysfunction here seems to be low-level yet constant which really made the sudden, plain spoken apology more surprising (for me.) At the same time, the lack of specificity in the father's apology for "everything" makes me thing there's perhaps a period of bad blood between the two that rears its head in close quarters. Brilliant work!
This sweet story sounds suspiciously autobiographical, Clancy. I don't think there is any problem between these two men. It is just a dad being a dad the best way he knows how, and a kid just being a kid trying to understand him. It is just the way it is. There are parent-child relationships a hundred times worse than this one. And what these two share is certainly better than having no dad at all. I really enjoyed this thoughtful exploration - of the lake and the relationship.
Great tale, and educational viz lakes. Never knew and now I do, though only as much as you detailed. I'll look into them. Light touch, watery tone, living characters (always good unless it's a story about the underworld obv.). Only note that jarred for me was the dad's final statement, but that may be entirely personal, and/or because I didn't read him correctly from the story.
I wandered the trail illuminated by a two D cell battery that showed me the way. No tripping over roots in the dark. I feel somewhere in my travels, don’t know time, but have been to Green Lakes Park. Could it be in upstate NY? Help me out. I enjoy your writing especially the father who reads the phone like his son would do if he wasn’t driving. Meromictic is a great word. I wonder what level the thermoclime starts separating layers of warm and cold in the lake.
Thanks for reading Richard! I think that is exactly where this takes place. To be honest I don’t know much about meromictic lakes besides what’s in the story but I’d like to find out!
Well done on creating a smoldering tension between the two of them… one that doesn’t really result in reconciliation only an apology for “everything” which is as good as “nothing.”
I wonder what all their lives were like up to this point and where they’ll go.
You're right -- "everything" IS just as good as "nothing"... never thought of it like that before. Thanks for reading! Maybe these characters will come back in another story someday...
Wonderful use of symbolism in this story. The father is meromictic like the lakes in that the depths of his personality never come up to the surface, which makes it so tremendously startling when he is able to express those depths at the end.
This was great. I could feel everything the father and the son were feeling; the tragedy of family members not getting along simply because they're different. The description of the father was also masterful and gave me a little chuckle. I'm looking forward to more of your stories!
Thanks for reading Hayden! There’s some other stories on my blog that have the same sort of feel that’s i’m quite proud of if you want to check them out!
Fantastic. All the things unsaid, and a few that probably should’ve been left unsaid. (In other words: The way families talk.) The thousand little irritations and resentments that drape heavy over love.
Wow, this was written with a lot of sentimentality. Beautifully done. I love the way you managed to evoke an atmosphere between father and son. Your slice of life stories (the ones I have read so far) are really charming.
As a side note, I know of someone who behaves like this father maybe a bit extreme too, to the point where he would be obsessed about when to drink so he doesn't have to go take a leak in the middle of the night — 7pm, that's the cut-off time, and rants when he missed out on drinking water before then. That and many more quirky attributes.
Anwyay well done. I am glad to keep finding really great writers like yourself here.
Whoah. Amazing. The point where he throws the flashlight into the lake, after identifying it as the one from childhood and the source of many memories….I loved it. Thank you.
A thoroughly mimetic and clever tale, well written and so relatable, esp. this line:
“Ah, yes, of course,” Marc said, measuring his level of sarcasm to the calculated dose a lifetime of living with his father had taught him was enough to avoid reciprocal aggression.
Thank you Alexander, a great compliment. I like that line and I think a few others did too!
If it interests you, I write posts about my writing called [retros], so be on the lookout for when I retro this post if you’re curious about the process.
Great compliment Ika thank you.
And holy crap — that is EXACTLY how I imagine this dad to be!
Thanks Ika — there’s surprisingly great fiction on here!
Loved this bit here: "Could this be it? Am I freed? Marc wondered without fear or sadness. This man who had done nothing but love and care for him, did he really wish him dead? How could he feel, in the passing of his father, that he would be ‘freed’? Freed of what – judgment and worry? The assignment of fault? The source of his lifelong fountain of self-loathing and criticism?" It feels like the narrator switches for the first time to a judgmental tone, a consideration of merit. Such an interesting transition. Great story.
Thank you Silvio — that really is the climax of the story.
The meromictic lake becomes all men as they age. Those surfaces and deep waters share less and less real estate. It must be a strange thing to have a father, and stranger to be one.
So true. A great comment Adam, and thanks for reading!
Outstanding. I’m grateful you wrote and shared this. And I’m thankful I got to read it.
Thanks you for the great compliment George. Hopefully I can keep delivering.
This is powerful. According to Mary Karr: "A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it." The dysfunction here seems to be low-level yet constant which really made the sudden, plain spoken apology more surprising (for me.) At the same time, the lack of specificity in the father's apology for "everything" makes me thing there's perhaps a period of bad blood between the two that rears its head in close quarters. Brilliant work!
That is great insight Will. Thanks for reading. You might almost say that the waters of these two people don't intermix.
one could say that
This sweet story sounds suspiciously autobiographical, Clancy. I don't think there is any problem between these two men. It is just a dad being a dad the best way he knows how, and a kid just being a kid trying to understand him. It is just the way it is. There are parent-child relationships a hundred times worse than this one. And what these two share is certainly better than having no dad at all. I really enjoyed this thoughtful exploration - of the lake and the relationship.
Great tale, and educational viz lakes. Never knew and now I do, though only as much as you detailed. I'll look into them. Light touch, watery tone, living characters (always good unless it's a story about the underworld obv.). Only note that jarred for me was the dad's final statement, but that may be entirely personal, and/or because I didn't read him correctly from the story.
Thanks Vincent! Wouldn't be a story if there wasn't at least one jarring moment. Glad you learned about the lakes.
I wandered the trail illuminated by a two D cell battery that showed me the way. No tripping over roots in the dark. I feel somewhere in my travels, don’t know time, but have been to Green Lakes Park. Could it be in upstate NY? Help me out. I enjoy your writing especially the father who reads the phone like his son would do if he wasn’t driving. Meromictic is a great word. I wonder what level the thermoclime starts separating layers of warm and cold in the lake.
Thanks for reading Richard! I think that is exactly where this takes place. To be honest I don’t know much about meromictic lakes besides what’s in the story but I’d like to find out!
Yes find answers. So upstate NY. Maybe near Syracuse?
I believe so yes.
Have you been there?
Well done on creating a smoldering tension between the two of them… one that doesn’t really result in reconciliation only an apology for “everything” which is as good as “nothing.”
I wonder what all their lives were like up to this point and where they’ll go.
You're right -- "everything" IS just as good as "nothing"... never thought of it like that before. Thanks for reading! Maybe these characters will come back in another story someday...
Wonderful use of symbolism in this story. The father is meromictic like the lakes in that the depths of his personality never come up to the surface, which makes it so tremendously startling when he is able to express those depths at the end.
You are so right about that, it’s an aspect of the story I’m proud of so thanks for noticing Jonah. And thanks for reading.
This was great. I could feel everything the father and the son were feeling; the tragedy of family members not getting along simply because they're different. The description of the father was also masterful and gave me a little chuckle. I'm looking forward to more of your stories!
Thanks for reading Hayden! There’s some other stories on my blog that have the same sort of feel that’s i’m quite proud of if you want to check them out!
I'll check them out for sure!
Fantastic. All the things unsaid, and a few that probably should’ve been left unsaid. (In other words: The way families talk.) The thousand little irritations and resentments that drape heavy over love.
What a great compliment! Thanks for reading Stephanie :)
Wow, this was written with a lot of sentimentality. Beautifully done. I love the way you managed to evoke an atmosphere between father and son. Your slice of life stories (the ones I have read so far) are really charming.
As a side note, I know of someone who behaves like this father maybe a bit extreme too, to the point where he would be obsessed about when to drink so he doesn't have to go take a leak in the middle of the night — 7pm, that's the cut-off time, and rants when he missed out on drinking water before then. That and many more quirky attributes.
Anwyay well done. I am glad to keep finding really great writers like yourself here.
I just tried to respond to this comment but left it on the main thread instead 😂
Touching and delicate.
Thanks Remy.
Whoah. Amazing. The point where he throws the flashlight into the lake, after identifying it as the one from childhood and the source of many memories….I loved it. Thank you.
No one has mentioned that yet Jen but it was one of my favorite parts as well. Thank you for reading!
A thoroughly mimetic and clever tale, well written and so relatable, esp. this line:
“Ah, yes, of course,” Marc said, measuring his level of sarcasm to the calculated dose a lifetime of living with his father had taught him was enough to avoid reciprocal aggression.
Chapeau my friend.
Thank you Alexander, a great compliment. I like that line and I think a few others did too!
If it interests you, I write posts about my writing called [retros], so be on the lookout for when I retro this post if you’re curious about the process.
we must always be and stay curious!