Such a great story. I love that you go back and critique your stuff, too. I love how you give the feeling that the relationship has matured, but they are still very much in love and comfortable together.
Thank you Jenn! Thanks for reading both the critique and the original. There is definitely a sense of maturity to their relationship, but they still keep things fresh!
You always leave such insightful comments and I’m glad to have you as a reader. I love your art. Maybe we can collaborate sometime!
I've also read a lot who don't do it. I'm reading some Michael Chabon now and since I wrote this retro I've been mindful of where/when he does it and the answer is kind of never. Maybe it's a slightly generational thing. I've read a lot of Substackers who do it.
This might have been the first story of yours that I ever read. For the record, the frank sex talk in here is what really blew me away. The way it is presented here is so real that it felt very refreshing to me. It wasn’t gratuitous or used to get a laugh. Just as real as it gets. One of my favourites!
Thanks for the retro-post. I missed this one the first time, and am glad I caught it on this second orbit. For what it's worth, I liked "Anecdotes. But." My eye flew over it without noticing any excessive pause the first time, and when I tried to imagine "Anecdotes, but," I wasn't sure I would like it quite so well. Which is perhaps to say that maybe we all overthink our punctuation just a little bit? And that as long as the words go together well and the narrative flows, maybe we shouldn't overthink it.
I agree! It does flow fine, I think I am getting caught up on a technicality I was always goaded on by an old high school teacher that conjunctions shouldn't start sentences.
I don't think it's bad, but these are the kind of things I notice when I do these retros.
In fiction, I LIKE occasional conjunctions starting sentences, and from a character perspective, I think it fits this character. (And I’m a high school AP teacher, so I’ll go to bat or to the mat for you against your old teacher!)
Such a great story. I love that you go back and critique your stuff, too. I love how you give the feeling that the relationship has matured, but they are still very much in love and comfortable together.
Thank you Jenn! Thanks for reading both the critique and the original. There is definitely a sense of maturity to their relationship, but they still keep things fresh!
You always leave such insightful comments and I’m glad to have you as a reader. I love your art. Maybe we can collaborate sometime!
Thank you, that is really a kind compliment. I love your writing, it would be very cool to collaborate sometime!
Very enjoyable, Clancy. Love the thought process and musings on your own words.
"I found that I do this a lot with colons, forming a bridge between a narrative clause and the quoted speech. Does it work?"
Yes! Definitely works for me. I've read plenty of authors who do similar.
Thanks Nathan!
I've also read a lot who don't do it. I'm reading some Michael Chabon now and since I wrote this retro I've been mindful of where/when he does it and the answer is kind of never. Maybe it's a slightly generational thing. I've read a lot of Substackers who do it.
Personally, I don't think it matters. Some do. Some don't. Some will be against it. Some for it.
I'm reading Neal Stephenson's Anathem at the moment and I'm fairly sure he's done it quite a few times.
I always love these retro-posts, thanks for showing us how the sausage is made.
Thanks for reading Will. Hopefully the sausage making facilities will pass health inspection
I expect it will be USDA certified grass fed sausages
This might have been the first story of yours that I ever read. For the record, the frank sex talk in here is what really blew me away. The way it is presented here is so real that it felt very refreshing to me. It wasn’t gratuitous or used to get a laugh. Just as real as it gets. One of my favourites!
Thanks Bob, it did kind of end up walking that line between gratuitous and humor, I’m pretty proud of it. Hopefully others will feel the same as you!
I read this one went you first published it and loved it! Extremely underrated.
Thank you Amy ! Maybe a few more will discover it from this retro.
Thanks for the retro-post. I missed this one the first time, and am glad I caught it on this second orbit. For what it's worth, I liked "Anecdotes. But." My eye flew over it without noticing any excessive pause the first time, and when I tried to imagine "Anecdotes, but," I wasn't sure I would like it quite so well. Which is perhaps to say that maybe we all overthink our punctuation just a little bit? And that as long as the words go together well and the narrative flows, maybe we shouldn't overthink it.
I agree! It does flow fine, I think I am getting caught up on a technicality I was always goaded on by an old high school teacher that conjunctions shouldn't start sentences.
I don't think it's bad, but these are the kind of things I notice when I do these retros.
Thank you for reading and noticing that.
In fiction, I LIKE occasional conjunctions starting sentences, and from a character perspective, I think it fits this character. (And I’m a high school AP teacher, so I’ll go to bat or to the mat for you against your old teacher!)